Re: [messengers] Fully Wicked Sick Fixie Messenger Bag

Date: 11 Oct 2010 00:12:40 +0200
From: Mike Verstichelen <michel_vers@xxxxxxxxx>


Absolutely epic.  Thanks for posting this...truly, poking fun at the posenger/fakenger/fixie-hipster trend at its FINEST.

Mike

On Wed Sep 15th, 2010 4:15 AM PDT Michael Dodd wrote:

>http://cgi.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260664866684
>
>This is a sweet awesome piece of vintage messenger history up for sale. This
>Crumpler Fux-Deluxe has been used by me, a fully wicked sick MESSENGER as I
>delivered parcels in cities as exciting as London, Sydney, San-Fran and
>Adelaide getting sweaty and sticking it to the man by delivering his
>envelopes.
>
>It can hold a carton of  beer, if you’ve drank two of them , you could take
>the rest to a party and all the chicks there would be like “that guys is so
>awesome, look at his awesome vintage MESSENGER bag, I think I’ll put out to
>the max” If you’re a chick this also works with dudes, unless you like
>chicks, then it works with them.
>
>This bag is 100% working condition and has been used in numerous covert
>ally-cat races, some of which I even finished. I remember once this dumb
>suit asked me what the weather was like outside while I was wearing this bag
>and I was all like “why should I talk to you suit, you corporate slave” and
>then I pulled a wicked vintage track stand on his face.
>
>The bag has been used for many years and is very worn and faded and contains
>many examples of hard coreness especially around the non-functional zip.
>However, this wear will boost your retro-vintage MESSENGER credibility to
>stratospheric levels and allow you access to all the secret messenger hang
>outs and parties that I can’t tell you about because you don’t own this bag
>yet! This bag will also make your whip 1000 times more killa, and will allow
>to do bar spins and monos provided that you can do them already.
>
>Included with the bag are an awesome scrote and a phone holder. Scrotes are
>for holding radios which is how your fat controller tells you to stick it to
>the man but you’ll need it to hold a second phone cos everyones gonna want
>to call you when you’ve got this sweet bag. Also are two genuine fully
>awesome MESSENGER uniforms, as worn by a real MESSENGER. You’ll be so
>popular you’ll be leading the ladies (or dudes) around buy their nose rings
>and tongue studs.
>
>It makes me very sad to let this fully sick bag go but I’ve had an image of
>it tattooed onto my calf and can safely let go now. The extreme cultural
>value of this bag is above $10,000 so don’t be stingy.
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