Re: [messengers] More Sponsors

Date: 14 Jun 2012 00:03:23 +0200
From: Darren Coxson <a_sloth@xxxxxxxxxxx>


Local funds are definitely the way forward Fish, spot on. Global councils? Sounds like Star Wars... I'll be Han Solo if you want to be Jah Jah Binks? 

*these are not the couriers you're looking for*

Keep it rubber side down, man

> Date: Wed, 13 Jun 2012 11:23:00 +0200
> From: fishmeisterasd@xxxxxxxxx
> To: carbonfreecourier@xxxxxxxxx; messengers@xxxxxxxxxxxxx; messengers@xxxxxxxxx
> Subject: Re: [messengers] More Sponsors
> 
> >
> > No i dea whats going on. But since this is about the community, i take
> this chance to say bye.
> > If you like it or not, ill tell you why i wont go or help with events
> anymore and why it came to my breakdown to this last weekend in london.
> > Im not feeling good with the community in general, but it also has a
> deeply personal cause, which i wont bore you with, but was the reason that
> i saw no one is really interested in unhappy, or unlucky people, which
> makes me feel lonely now and then. even seeing a lot of love for eachother
> in the community around me, just not to me when something snaps inside.
> > I guess i wasnt successfull at having many dear friends in the community,
> just people i know and some really respect, and maybe the other way around.
> I thank the few who where there sometimes and fewer that where there many
> times for me. I am very happy for the friends i did gain through it. Dont
> take offence. Dont hate you. Just have the feeling i screwed up myself.
> > i tried so many things for the community, and i understand not everything
> can work out how we all want it. Its just doesnt go anywhere really.
> >
> > I feel there is some really good projects going on. And those people
> deserve support and credit. More than there is now from the majority of the
> community. I did intend to support one of these, by reselling lcef stuff,
> for which lcef still gets a lot of money from me and the bikeshop i workef
> for. Because of  the non payment of others, i kinda gave up. Sorry leah.
> And i hope to see the remaining people who owe me, the bike shop and the
> lcef money to pay it to my account as stated in the letter i sent along the
> envelopes which i did send world wide, except to leah. This also has other
> reasons that fucked this transactions up. So lcef still gets between 400
> and 700 euros from me and my company. It will be there one day. I promise.
> >
> > Another recent reason i stop is that i believe that there is a certain
> conservativeness in our community. And it stops our events from getting
> better. You see as the lcef raises money for couriers in need, they also
> use the money to invest in events, and they get it back triple. No need for
> big sponsors here. But if you want a huge event, its almost impossible
> without a big one. Some people wanna pay 60 euros to be self sufficient,
> but in many cases its just gonna leave a dept. A dept that is there through
> selfish reasons and vetos against big sponsors. There must be a middle way.
> There are always price sponsors. And i seen in al these years that people
> wont show up without prices to win. But no one ever vetoed against bagaboo
> or brooks. Why veto against red bull?
> >
> > The organisation called ifbma, which is us all, didnt manage to achieve
> in ever, in what the lcef achieved. And what the intetnational fund ever
> likes to achieve, but its just not working out for various reasons. Mostly
> because a lot of countries do have a sufficient national ensurance system
> and payroll system, that ensures people. In case of when messengers go indy
> and start working together we need local funds like lcef rather than global.
> >
> > Anyway the ifbma is a non organisation which never gets anywhere, not
> even to a decicion in how to fucking vote. And we still dont see that our
> bidding system is unfair and failing us. Also my struggle to promote a cool
> new way of racing didnt work out yet how i like, because of rain, but also
> because of still a big non believe that it could be a standard. If i had
> the chance to finish it, which i wont for now, but someone else is working
> on it appearantly, just didnt hear much from him exept he did investigate
> if it was really as fair as i claim it is. Hope for anne he can make it
> work, and of course if it doesnt ill help out one more time.
> >
> > Past problems with the community also came back to
> > Mind, but i have to admit my last breakdown was more personal then
> community related, but it was just too many drops for me.
> >
> > One past problem was that in 2006 i was assured by neil from dublin that
> i was being the official after race for cmwc2007. But james tate from
> glasgow also threw one all of a sudden and neil said why not, for the
> people who coulnd make it across to amsterdam. This little joke costed me
> 1500 euros. And neil never talked to me again, and i even pickef up james
> afterwards from the slammer. Also a lot of people actually chose for james
> instead, and james tried it again to get a pre or post events, im happy
> people saw through it this time. And london officially got it.
> >
> > So the drop actually for me to leave now is more unlikely than you think
> but a good reason for me personally to quit.
> > During an alleycat last weekend im london i failed to see another
> cyclist, i mangled his bike with my brooklyn machine. My bike looked ok but
> a day later i saw my downtube had a dent. And as i am a true blood biker
> and this particular frame means more tto me and other people than you nay
> think a bike is worth... but i was completely smashed from it, the more
> because i already gave it its retirement already and just using it on the
> track and crits. And not on the street anymore. And i still took it to
> london, and there i trashed it. Because of that i left the breakfast
> alleycat, and didnt return. My own choice but i did crash mentally thinking
> of all the bad luck and choices i got and made in the past years that
> crapped out my life. Yes its personal, but above reasons also play a role.
> Also the beloved big black bus plays a role, and my relationships and
> temper aswell. Its the full brainfuck monty. And im tired of being an
> asshole and i am unhappy that no one but ofcourse steph text me, but no one
> attempted to get me back on my feet like some did to me and many others
> before. Like i try at least to do to others. Especially people i love im
> the community who are more likely to be my family than my own family.
> >
> > And yes i feel sorry i wasnt there for some others with problems, but
> most of them didnt need ne because they had many many others in the
> commumity to provide some mental support, sn ear, a shoulder, a kick in the
> ass.
> > Im unhappy i didnt travel half the world to be on some funerals, or at
> epic events like guatemala. I feel i got blamed by older members of our
> community for not showing up for some years, after i drunk my brains out in
> warsaw, and seeing everyone on drugs rather than seeing a good race. Partly
> me, partly you. And i was already tired of the non conclusiveness of the
> ifbma, because in real life i was and am a pretty smart boy who also wants
> only the best and simplest for us. And i rallied so much for newer simpler
> things, and proposed a councilling council in ecmc freiburg 2000. Where i
> had absolutely no support for that idea, but still an even worse type of
> counsil, one that had something to say, was installed some years after, but
> i havent been at any open forum at that time. Funny. And now, after 12
> years, and after introducing guidelines instead of rules for the races, and
> finally have been granted the opportunity to prove i can make races more
> enjoyable for everyone, that muppet council finally grew up and took the
> advise to be a councelling council, opposed to a governing one. Love it,
> keep progressive like this.
> >
> > So this and my inability to steal your guys heart so much that people
> forget me while im in trouble, even no one waited anymore in the alleycat,
> is my shitpile of reasons to stop being part of and entertain you guys.
> >
> > Friends will be friends, and i especially thank some people from new york
> city because you guys were the only ones truly happy to see me back after
> as much as 12 years. You guys know who you are and you made me feel
> unbelievably welcome and inspired me more to be a good person like you guys
> are. And i still didnt manage to see some people who i wanted to see. So i
> fail.
> >
> > The very last and most impirtant reason why i stop is because i believe i
> cant be a trustfull and stable partner, friend, organizer. And i feel i
> lost my street racing skills as i am actually not a bikemessenger anymore,
> but still a traffic addict, just lost my ability to race hard. This all
> doesnt make me a nice person to be around, so pretty old nice fish turns
> into an insecure little loser who jeapardises friendships, relationships,
> and ultimately support from the community, and i embarrass myself in front
> of many, and so they stop helping me as a person. Its a perfect vicious
> circle which i need to break in order to safe myself.
> >
> > I despite im not on a ride to edinburgh right now, for missing the
> awesome london calling, and for hurting stephanie and her roommates
> feelings. And im very dissappointed in the way no one came try to pull me
> out of this and take me to the races, if it was only to go help my
> superhard working love stephanie, who i lost again...  I know its a selfish
> thing, but in my head it was right to expect someone to come pull me out
> but when it didnt happen, i got dragged down more. I know i cant blame
> anyone. Its just in my own head. And im sorry. See above.
> >
> > So. Friends will be friends, everyone is welcome here in osdorp or the
> fixmeisters shop where i work, if you want my personal attention come just
> before closing time, as i am buzy working in the shop and cant hang out
> with you in a relaxed fashion( btw the shop is also draining me from life,
> but thatbi will and can solve) . So close messenger friends, dont worry.
> For the ones who only call me when you need me, see you when we see.
> >
> > Last but not least i wanna tell you i am very depressed and confused for
> a lot of more reasons than mentioned above, and that confusion just got
> more. I havent been as nice as i should have in the past but im also not
> stupid enough to learn. So i do. But i cant hurt anyone anymore. You nor
> me.
> >
> > I planted this rant here out of topic, because i hate to draw too much
> attention, and i wont reply on it, plus morgan mentioned something like non
> supportiveness so heres my dirty dollar. Past the two cent state.
> >
> > Also thanks for the good times. Had a lot i can't remember.
> >
> > Hereby i give up. And last week i still wanted it all. Weird how things
> go.
> >
> > Fish (stefan vis for some)
> >
> > Ps. The hipsters didnt kill my scene, we all had a fascination with bikes
> before or during our jobs, we killed it ourselves, and they actually keep
> it alive by becoming bikemessengers in some cases. So stop blaming others.
> >
> > Wish i had the joy still in me to join the ranks of chas and austin
> horse. But ill join you guys at the crits, if i can have the BMW fixed.
> >
> > Godspeed to steph. Keep doing what you do,  your saving the community( so
> do some others). wished to do that too and i could to have been a part of
> it all. It killed me in the end.
> >
> >
> > Op 13 jun. 2012 05:32 schreef "M Hafer" <carbonfreecourier@xxxxxxxxx> het
> volgende:
> >
> >> Despite me pissing you off, I'm doing great on the sponsor effort-
> possible 50 cases of Body Armor natural energy drinks to cool that temper
> down:-)
> >> This ride is for the benefit of the Community and silly me for thinking
> the Role Models  in the Community could contribute or participate in some
> way-  Actions should speak louder than words but clearly this does not
> apply to me- I'll handle the Ride Raffle with resources I have- "Thanks to
> those who have or going to participate volunteer or contribute"!!:-)
> >> Goodbye 13.0
> >> _______________________________________________
> >> Messengers mailing list
> >> Messengers@xxxxxxxxx
> >> http://ifbma.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/messengers
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